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Steps: Create, Collaborate, Celebrate
Step 1: Create
Define a physical area so you can narrow your focus and energy. That doesn’t mean we don’t love or include everyone, it just helps to give it a “container”. Just as it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a village of moms to support each other. Who’s part of your village?
Someone in my in-laws neighborhood created a Facebook group for their “neighborhood block”. The cover photo of the group was a map of highlighted surrounding streets. The group description states: “It’s my wish that we can come to really know our neighbors and to be a part of a community who rallies around each other!” We lived with my in-laws for about a year and were able to participate in some block parties. One time, they had s’mores; a few people brought their fire pits and set them up right in the middle of the cul-de-sac. The page is also there for others to give and request support.
Step 2: Collaborate
What do others have to offer? What are your unique skills or interests? Are their clubs to join? If not, consider starting one. Book Club, Date Group, and Bunco are some of the ones I belong to. “Friends are made in the moments you say, ‘Me too.’”
I host a podcast and was really trying to build my audience. I had tried many of the traditional ways: social media, having guests/being a guest on others’ podcasts, and even an ad on the radio! Nothing seemed to be increasing the size of my audience and all my family and friends were either already listening or it wasn’t their thing. People would say, “Think outside the box” but I was drawing a blank. I decided to start with my community. I live in Daybreak, South Jordan—a master planned community of homes with an HOA. I would see people post about their businesses on the Daybreak Facebook Page. Personally, I wanted a comprehensive list of all the local businesses around me. I wondered if others would value something like that as well, so I put out a post to gauge interest and decided to take on a “Daybreak Directory.” Many, many people have thanked me, affirmed that it is a good idea, and say they looked forward to having access to it. I don’t know if it will help my podcast or not, but I am grateful I was able to find a way to contribute to my neighborhood in a way that fills purposeful. If you live in/near Daybreak and would like a copy of the directory, let me know and I will share it with you!
Step 3: Celebrate
Wins, big and small. “Shared joy is double joy, shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” Even just celebrating people as they are can be so impactful in helping someone feel like they belong. There’s a YouTube video called, “Validation”, (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao) where an employee who validates people’s parking starts giving validating compliments and becomes so popular that everyone goes to see him whether or not they need their parking validated. Holidays, half birthdays, and traditions are a place to start! A family is often the first community you belong to!
I enjoy hosting and it comes naturally to me, but even if it doesn’t, start small and it will come with time. Also, as you invite others, it’s likely you’ll be invited. There are so many reasons to gather (not that you need a reason ;)) I’ve hosted brunch, recipe collaborations, Favorite Things Parties, Game get togethers, Paint Night…My favorite is my annual Pumpkin Potluck.
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